Proposal

I was pretty sure he would propose in Colorado. A lot of our firsts happened in Colorado. We spent almost two years there, getting to know each other and then falling in love. So, when we found out he would be able to go to Colorado with us to pick up my little sister, I was pretty sure he was going to propose. My little sister spent the summer in Colorado, with our Great-grandma who is also Collin’s grandma. If you didn’t know this already, we are second cousins. It is legal and our kids are not more likely to have abnormalities. Now that that’s out of the way, I want to share our story.

Collin and I knew each other for as long as we can remember. We would occasionally see each-other when our parents’ trips to Colorado happened to land on similar days. But, we didn’t really know each-other. He would spend time with my older brother and the “older” cousin group. I would hang out with the other cousins who were closer to my age.

It wasn’t until I moved to Colorado that we really got to know each-other. He had moved into Grandma Marilyn’s house a year before I did and was there when her husband died. I moved in with the impression Collin would be moving out soon. We both just wanted to give back to the woman who had done so much for everyone else.

We started to go for walks, just the two of us, almost every day. It was during these walks we began falling for each other. At first, we were just best friends. He understood me in ways no one else had and I think I understood him too. Then, out of nowhere, our feelings deepened. I think it was just a natural love story. We fell in love like anyone else does, accidentally. Then, reality set in. The first year was rough. We went through a lot while desperately holding onto what we had. It was hard. And then, it was so easy.

Once we “came out” to everyone in our family, the relief was glorious. It didn’t happen all at once but once everyone knew, it was so much easier to be in love with my best friend. It doesn’t even matter that some ignorant people judge us. I am so happy to be able to love without second-guessing or worrying. I don’t think anyone on earth should ever feel bad for loving who they love. If it isn’t hurting anyone and if they’re consenting adults, what is the harm?

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Shortly after moving to California, my mom gave Collin her engagement ring. I was there when she did it, so I knew the proposal was coming. But, Collin really wanted to surprise me. He had many ideas that I ruined due to my inability to be surprised. And we were both getting frustrated. I just wanted to be engaged and Collin just wanted me to stop trying to guess when it would happen.

When we made plans to pick up my little sister, Collin didn’t think he could get the time off work. He had already asked off the week after because we were planning to go to Palm Springs. But, then he found a way to get the week of the Colorado trip off too. Once he knew he was going to Colorado with my mom and I, he asked about going for a walk on Wednesday morning. I had a feeling this was going to be when he would propose. But, I didn’t want to ruin another idea, so I pretended I thought it was going to happen in Palm Springs.

Wednesday morning came and we got ready for our walk, which I had to bring up. This made me wonder if I was wrong so I looked in the backpack where I had seen the ring box. It was still there. I was devastated. This walk would have been the perfect time for him to propose. But, I tried my best to be happy. We were still going for a walk down memory lane and even if that walk wasn’t going to include a proposal, it would still be fun.

In the end, Collin did surprise me. He had taken the ring out of the box so that I wouldn’t be able to see it in his pocket. When we reached the hill where we admitted our feelings to each other we sat down. Collin was nervous as he talked about all we’d been through and how it all started in this spot. It was so sweet, I would’ve cried if I hadn’t been so excited. He then told me to close my eyes. He kissed me. I opened my eyes. “That’s it?” He laughed. “No, close them again and wait.” I waited. He told me to open my eyes as he slid the ring on my finger.

 

Below is a poem I wrote while in Palm Springs. I haven’t written poetry in a long time and I may have had one too many mai tais before I wrote it. So, please don’t judge too harshly.

 

Sunflower

 

You are

Easy on the eyes

And

Easy on the heart

A drop of water

on a wilted plant

You are

The calm before

Thunder and lightning

Being around you

Is comfort

In every form

I believe in love

In home

In feeling whole

Because you

Make me feel

Unimaginably happy

Like the sun is

Always in the sky

And the rain

Is pouring

Just enough

To make me grow

Tall and full

 

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